


Standing Still

by gusryder



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soft Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gusryder/pseuds/gusryder
Summary: Leon didn't exactly have a great game, but he's not the only one.





	Standing Still

**Author's Note:**

> Set after THE game. As someone put-"we shall call it the 'spear-in-the-nuts' game because that's what it felt like and it actually happened in the game" (quote inaccurate and rephrased). Or for those that are still confused: Game 4 of the First Round (vs San Jose) where Edmonton lost 7-0 and Leon got kicked out of the game for spearing.
> 
> A million thanks to viennajones for being a wonderful beta and for feeding the bunnies!

There’s a knock on his door and Leon’s not in the mood to talk to anyone. He considers pretending that he’s asleep but the TV is on and the volume isn’t that low and he knows hiding isn’t really the answer either.

He opens the door and is only mildly surprised to see Connor standing in front of him. Surprised because Connor hasn’t spoken to him since he got kicked out of the game, but not because he’s Connor . He’s not sure he can take Connor’s diplomatic disappointment at the moment, on top of everything else.

After a moment of looking at each other, Connor slides by Leon and pads over to the bed and lies down, head on a pillow and eyes covered with his forearm.

Leon stares at him in confusion, not sure what’s expected of him here. He walks over to the bed, picks up the remote, and turns off the TV. When Connor doesn’t react, Leon walks to the other side of the bed and sits down, legs out in front of him, resting against the mass of pillows hotel rooms always seem to provide. He looks down at his hands, shooting glances at Connor, and waits, not anxious to start any sort of conversation.

“Fuck,” Connor finally breathes out.

Leon looks over but Connor hasn’t moved, hasn’t tilted his head Leon’s way, hasn’t even acknowledged that Leon’s in the room with him. For a brief moment he wonders if he’s somehow dead and actually a ghost now. Or maybe Connor is giving him the silent treatment for being a piece of shit on the ice. He dismisses both as he uneasily shifts closer to Connor, unsure of what to do.

Leon stares at the blank TV wishing he had left it on so he would have something to do besides sit in anticipation, listening to Connor breathing. He looks over again and takes Connor in. His arm is still over his face but Leon can see that he is pale, his body tight. He must have showered and come over right after because his hair is still damp.

Leon finally reaches out and grips Connor’s forearm and tugs, sliding it off his face.

Connor’s eyes meet his and he sucks in a breath. Connor’s eyes are red rimmed and he looks wrecked. Leon goes to open his mouth. To start apologizing. For letting the fans and the team down. For letting Connor down.

Connor speaks first.

“I’m sorry.” Connor shuts his eyes tight and rolls onto his side, away from Leon, curling into himself a bit.

Leon feels off balance as he gapes at Connor’s back before he hesitantly places his hand on Connor’s hip and shifts even closer, sliding lower onto the bed so he’s propped up on his other arm. He’s close enough to feel Connor’s warmth in the air between them.

Leon doesn’t know what he’s doing. What Connor’s doing. What Connor wants from Leon right now.

“I-“ Leon’s voice is scratchy with disuse. He hasn’t been feeling overly talkative this evening.

“I think I win on who needs to apologize more,” Leon finally says, going for a lighter tone.

Connor shifts and turns his head so he can look at Leon. “I fucked up.” Leon raises his eyebrows and is about to interject but Connor carries on. “I couldn’t do it. I lost my cool and we got destroyed.”

“Maybe they are right.” Connor whispers as he gazes beseechingly at Leon before turning away. “Maybe I’m too young,” he mumbles.

Leon’s heart breaks a little and he closes the distance between them, aligning himself along Connor’s body, letting his thumb draw soothing circles on Connor’s hip.

For all of the chemistry between them on the ice, they have never discussed this, this _something_ they both know is between them but is only acknowledged in small moments of awareness.

Leon has no illusions about his attraction to Connor but never really felt like he was alone in that regard so he never examined it further. Connor’s well liked in the locker room and he’s sure half the guys are somewhat in love with him because he’s fucking brilliant at hockey and a genuinely awesome guy. They might all know him better than the rest of the world but it’s still hard not to be starry eyed sometimes when you get to be a part of the magic.

“Hey.” Leon speaks softly. “This isn’t on you.”

He can feel Connor tense up so he amends. “Ok. It’s _mostly_ not on you.”

Connor snorts a little and shifts backward, pressing more firmly against Leon.

“I just can’t…do _anything_ out there. It’s awful.”

“Yeah,” Leon agrees because obviously he knows how frustrating it’s been being shut down over and over again.

“I knew it would be like that but I didn’t really get it. How hard it would be to not be able to do anything.” Connor laughs hollowly. “I guess I’m not ok with not being good all of the time. I’m a fucking diva after all.”

“Fuck, you’re not.” Leon’s hand tightens on Connor’s hip and he leans closer to Connor so he can speak into his ear.

“You were fucking brilliant out there, I just couldn’t help you out to save my life. I felt like shit for that then and I feel like shit now,” Leon finally admits.

Connor grabs Leon’s wrist and pulls so that Leon’s arm comes around his waist. He doesn’t move his hand from Leon’s wrist but holds it to him as if Leon might take it back.

Leon’s _really_ not sure what Connor is looking for tonight. Not sure what he can honestly give him at this moment but he’s willing to do whatever he can.

“You weren’t shit,” Connor finally speaks. “We just gotta figure out how to beat them. We can do it,I know we can.” Connor’s grip tightens.

“Assuming I don’t get suspended you mean?” Leon points out wryly. It hurts to talk about it so he hasn’t, just nodding at the right times when he was spoken to until he got the hell out of the SAP Centre. He’s always prided himself on being a composed player. But here with Connor pressed against him, it feels safe to speak. To let himself give voice to thisfear growing inside of him.

“Don’t.” Connor looks over his shoulder and Leon is struck by how close their faces are. Connor’s gaze dips briefly before meeting his again, eyes full of determination.

“Don’t even go there,” His eyes flash with some emotion that Leon can’t read. “Unless…you want to talk about it?” Connor asks hesitantly.

“Fuck no,” Leon mutters.

Connor lolls his head back against Leon’s shoulder and half-smiles up at Leon. Leon’s gut clenches.

“Good,” Connor says. “I don’t want to talk about it either. I just…don’t want to be a captain for like 10 minutes tonight.” Connor’s gaze shifts away from Leon’s face and he turns to face forward again.

Leon thinks he finally understands and lets his palm splay out on Connor’s stomach, fingers moving along the soft cotton of his t-shirt. Connor sighs and Leon feels some of the tension leave his body.

Leon drops his head into the hollow of Connor’s neck and breathes him in. “We got this. Besides, you don’t get 2 games for winning 7-nothing, am I right?” Leon teases gently, mouth almost brushing Connor’s neck when he speaks.

“It’s true though,”  Connor says pointedly.

Leon raises his eyebrows in surprise at his flippancy and Connor rolls his eyes.

“Ok fine. I meant what I said then but everything has sort of sunk in now. I was just lying there in my room and couldn’t stop thinking about the game. It’s like my brain won’t turn off.”

Connor’s hand starts trailing fingers up and down Leon’s arm. It all feels very intimate yet Leon isn’t sure if Connor is even aware he’s doing it. Leon isn’t sure if Connor is aware that spooning with your linemate isn’t normal getting-over-a-shitty-game behavior.

Leon’s trying focus on what Connor is saying and not let himself get distracted by the curve of Connor’s jaw and the expanse of neck he has access to.

“Sorry. I’m not really the best at pep-talks...,” he finishes awkwardly, hoping Connor hears the question he can’t bring himself to ask. _Why did you come here?_

“I got enough of those already. Everyone’s been so wonderfully supportive,” Connor bites out. Then he winces. “Shit. I didn’t mean- It’s been good. The guys are good but…I’m just so tired of being Connor Mc-fucking-David right now,” Connor finishes wearily.

“I just thought…” Connor inhales. “I could be Connor for a while.”

Leon is a bit stunned. Connor is always so composed off-ice, always thinks before speaking, always so aware that _someone_ is paying attention. Leon’s seen him get fired up on the ice. Enjoys it even but rarely sees his composure break off-ice. Leon thinks about how exhausting that must be.

“And what,” Leon asks carefully, “does Connor want?” He holds his breath, aware of exactly what he is asking.

Connor turns his head and lets his gaze slide up to meet Leon’s eyes. _Oh._

Connor tightens his grip. “Can I stay tonight?”

Leon’s pretty sure his surprise is obvious because he sees Connor flush.

“I didn’t mean…I meant like this?” Connor stammers, his eyes  no longer meeting Leon’s.

Despite the shitty night he’s had, Leon’s strangely delighted and he can feel a smile reach his lips.

“Hey.” Leon slides his wrist out of Connor’s grip to touch his jaw gently, tipping his face towards Leon’s.

“Connor,” he says again, waiting until Connor meets his eyes.

“You can have anything you want,” Leon promises seriously, hoping Connor hears what Leon is offering.

Connor smiles at him, a new and almost shy smile, and for a moment they take each other in. Leon’s so close to kissing Connor but the mood feels too fragile, _he_ feels too fragile.

Connor leans into Leon’s hand and closes his eyes.

“What Connor wants is to go to sleep and forget this day ever happened,” he mumbles.

Leon chuckles in agreement and sits up, separating himself from Connor who makes a discontented noise.

“Easy. I’m just getting the sheets.” Leon says as he reaches for the blankets and pulls the ones Connor is on out from under him.

“Are you uh, going to sleep in those?” Leon’s throat feels dry.

Connor’s eyes widen again and Leon rolls his eyes affectionately. “I’m just making sure you’re comfortable-I’m not going to jump you in the night or anything.” It’s easy to joke about it as if it’s not a very real possibility that Leon might struggle with if Connor does remove his shirt.

“I’m good,” Connor promises.

Leon shrugs and reaches to grab the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head when Connor takes him by the wrist. “You should probably leave it on,” he says quietly.

Leon freezes and stares at Connor. Connor’s mouth quirks up and Leon lets out a breath.

“Oh my god,” he mutters to himself and slides under the covers next to Connor who’s still on his side facing away from Leon.

He reaches over Connor to turn off the lamp, letting his body slide against Connor’s. He smiles to himself as he feels Connor freeze beneath him.

When he liesback down, he leaves some room between them, curled on his side toward Connor. Watching his chest rise and fall in the dim light creeping through the curtains.

Connor huffs and wiggles back into Leon, then fumbles for his arm, dragging it over him.

Leon smiles and settles in, resting his nose against the back of Connor’s neck.

“Good night Connor,” Leon says against Connor’s neck.

“Thanks, Leon.”

Leon feels the tension leave Connor’s body as his breathing slows and evens out. Leon’s tired but he wants to hold on to this new and fragile feeling of contentment. Holding Connor in the dark of an anonymous hotel room is the one sweet spot in a jagged-edged night.

He presses his lips to Connor’s neck and closes his eyes, letting his breathing slow to match Connor’s. He will deal with tomorrow when it comes, but for now, he has this.


End file.
